Gauntlet-OCT Audition page 3

Whoo! *jumps in* Again, the hand-grabbing panel is unnecesary. If she's handing something to the kid, WE KNOW she picked it up. ^_^

There's an excellent opportunity in the first two panels to have the kid involved in the acting and scene as well, instead of just the back of his head. Maybe he sniffs the medicine and it's nasty? (That would be funny)

Panels 3 & 4 are kind of confusing. In panel 3, she's REACTING to what she see's in panel 4 ... shouldn't they be reversed so WE see them as the happen? (Oh noes! It's a TIME FLUX! D= ) Also, just a note: since I've been seeing the back of the kid's head in panels 1 & 2, it's a bit of a jump for me to understand that panel 4 isn't the back of the kid's head again. I'm not sure how to fix that, maybe showing more of the person, instead of just the head, or ... something. That's a bit of a poser. :3 Soz. :3

Okay, again we run into a panel tracking problem next. Because the girl is running and her head cuts across panel 4, my eyes track down her body to panel 6. (I don't think I even notice panel 5 before. o.O ) This actually works fine, and makes the panel read exciting, BUT I don't think it's what you wanted 'cause there *is* a panel 5. :3

(IF, you made the info in 5 (girl is awestruck/confused by guy walking) into panel 4, you COULD just do the I'M RUNNING AWAY NAOW panel right after that. ;3)

Also, her left hand looks like it's holding her skirty thing. Just fyi.

NEXT PAGE!!!!

~Istra~